July 13, 2022•276 words
He was small. I could have stepped on him without the slightest notice. He fluttered past my ear, circling my head a few times before alighting on my moonlit finger.
He said, ask anything.
I abandoned all disbelief and instantly asked for what I wanted most. I said: heal me.
He said why?
This question surprised me. One that it was asked, and two that I didn’t actually have a good answer. Why should I be healed? I stumbled on my words and gave the best answer I could: So I can feel less suffering?
He said, you want me to eliminate suffering?
Well, when you put it like that. I felt silly. Suffering is quite built in huh.
I repeated nonethelessingly: heal me.
He repeated why?
I was certain I knew why. It’s all I wanted. I went to speak again, but nothing came out.
I said, I’m actually not sure. I’m too young to be disease-ridden?
He said ok, when’s a good time for you to have a disease?
I said, hmm. Good question.
He said, if now’s a bad time for you, is 40 years of age good? 50? And if I heal you now, do I have to protect you from all other calamity and disease until you’re ready for them?
Oof. Got me.
All this time, I’ve been asking for the wrong thing. I’ve been after something nonsensical.
He said ask anything.
I don’t know what to ask, I said bewilderingly. I felt bad for wasting his time. So I went on my way. And he on his. Maybe I’ll see him fluttering by again. And I’ll ask more nonsensical questions.