The Last One Percent

The economy of our days is often times volatile; a high warrants a low and a low warrants a high. Compensation. A “correction.” I for no reason today awoke in the red, with a mass sell-off having apparently taken place during premarket hours. And if my job was to at all increase the share value by any number of points for the day, then I have further disappointing news.

What was the event? The news? What did the analyst find? No one knows. All I have is my marketing department, with its endless supply of forward-looking statements to suppress shareholder worry.

But, there are clues to this mystery. Black Mirror—horror for the mind. I know people who refuse to watch Black Mirror on grounds of not wanting to have their mental stability robbed. I don’t blame them. The new season came out a few weeks ago and I only just watched episode two yesterday. Watching it requires some serious mental gambling, which I am not always so willing to put any amount of on the table.

The other clue is the nature of challenges. Hard at work demolishing and constructing new areas of code, my disposition has went from uncontained excitement to obnoxious and aggressive peals of are we there yet? emanating from the back seat. I’m working on it, I try to plea, but work harder is the only reply. The end is so close. I reach for it, and clamber my way towards it, but between us is as big a tease as the infinitesimal fraction of light speed we can’t reach.

All of that to say, I'm anxious to finish up what I’m working on. I want it to be done. Unfortunately, I’ve made an inventory of remaining tasks and it looks like there’s a lot more work to do. It’s now the funnest part of any software project: The Last 1 Percent. Mind games will be played. Deadlines will be missed. Bugs will surface. Sleep will be lost. An emperor bug will emerge and convince you that it is unsolvable and that you’re for sure fucked this time. Ah, the dread. Of course, you solve it 2–100 hours later. The range is the scary part. But, I’ve been in this mess before. And I’ve managed to make it out alive every time. So, there's your forward-looking statement.

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